Not For Sale

“My personal space is not for sale.”  I heard this while drinking coffee at one of my favorite writing spots.  The context in which it was stated made me snort laugh which elicited a collective “amen sister” from other patrons to the woman who said it to her now (assuming) ex-boyfriend.  The conversation in summary was the male half trying to rationalize why he should move in with her since he lost his job and got caught cheating on her.  I’m baffled by his audacity, but give him props for meeting her in public…probably knowing that conversation in private would likely have ended very badly for him. 

Context aside, the statement reminded me of a recent interaction I had that left me quite disappointed with some folks.  I let it bother me more than I should have.  Without rehashing the details, the lesson I learned from this is that my personal space, my personal happiness, beliefs, tolerance, understanding, all of these things are valuable…and not for sale. 

I forgive them.  It’s not in my nature to harbor a grudge against anyone.  That takes up too much time and energy.  My son suffered a friendship because of it, but even with hurt feelings he prayed for them.  This is the faith journey I’ve been on, learning from everyone and every experience.  Faith in humanity is the hardest for me because in my line of work I see people at their worst.  I don’t expect to see this in my personal life since I’m usually very careful of who I allow a seat at my table.   One ply faith, fold it, fold it again.  That’s my mantra.  Especially with people who are so quick to judge. 

To the girl in the coffee shop, to my son, to all of us who believe the best in people, don’t diminish your self-worth for others who don’t invest in your personal well-being and happiness.  If people in your life try to make you feel bad for standing up for yourself then they don’t belong in your personal space.  Evict them.  Normal people don’t go around destroying other human beings.  There’s a lot of irrational, dramatic, selfish, and otherwise crazy people in this world that we may have to share the planet with, but that doesn’t mean we allow them in our personal space.  It’s valuable real estate, not for rent, and certainly not for sale.   

Summary:

Know your worth. 

Don’t rent or sell your personal space, you're not an Air B&B.

Be kind.

Faith Forward

Change number 8,675,309.  We’re back to a hectic, never-see-each-other, no-time-for-sleep, back-to-a-common-core-school-day, homework-from-hell, work-plus-two-side-hustles, where-did-our-life-go, schedule.  God has placed some obstacles in our path to change our direction and point us to new opportunities.  Amazing opportunities.  The struggle isn’t the sacrifices we’re making or the obstacles we’re facing.  The struggle is my excuses.  The struggle is my patience.

I see myself making excuses (for myself and others) when I should be saying “Excuse me” to step around those excuses and keep my faith forward.  Faith forward is simple.  You let go, stop the procrastination from failing in the past, and you focus your faith ahead where your goals are.  Faith forward is freedom from worrying about WHEN or HOW changes will occur, and focusing on WHAT changes you WANT.  Faith forward is very similar to paying it forward, but for yourself.  Yep, be selfish in your faith.  I’ve said it before, you can have as much as you want.  Fill it up.  Let it overflow.  Share it if you want, but don’t feel guilty for having more than other people.  Their level faith shouldn’t determine yours.  

Patience requires an abundance of faith.  Whether it's a change in schedule, or in jobs, or just in a small daily habit to improve life, lack of patience can become a setback.  Our family is experiencing a lot of changes that require more faith than I do coffee on any given day after a 12 hour shift.  Yes….that much.  But you know what keeps my faith forward with these changes?  A ten year old little boy who said, “I can do this.” Our son’s motivation is proving that a common core failing school system can’t stop his success to get promoted mid-year or shake is faith in the works of Jesus.  Doing double the curriculum to get it done, he still paused to pray for his teacher when she wasn’t feeling well.  Some of you may not get “it”.  But “It’s” pretty awesome to see such an abundance of love and faith in the face of your own child. 

In everything we do for our kids, failure is a common feeling as parents when things don’t work out the way we planned.  Luckily we have two boys who remind us of our worth.  And we are worth so much more than what we give ourselves.  My hubs and I are working on doing better for all of us.  My patience, or lack of, doesn’t change the ‘when’.  No matter your faith, no matter your purpose, it’s God’s timing. 

Whether it’s patience, or excuses, or whatever your struggle, fill your cup and Faith Forward, my friends.

Intentional Life

I didn't intend for this to happen.  It just did.  I’m not an interesting person.  I drink coffee and paint chickens on my days off.  My house is chaos with three large dogs and three large boys (hubs, and Bam mostly, Ant on occasion).  I work 12-14 hour shifts on mid-nights, extra details or court cases wake me early, and home schooling our 5^th grader wakes me even earlier.  On my Sunday’s off I squeeze in six hours at the Farmer’s Market to sell my hobby.  My schedule is rotating week to week so my family’s schedule also rotates.  They accommodate me, and have been for nearly a decade, with my belief that I can save the world. 

Added stress of our financial responsibilities and family obligations, unexpected expenses, and a home in desperate need of an insect/squirrel/frog exorcism since the roof damage, has diverted my focus away from my purpose.  My faith is strong that everything will work out, the problem is that my faith has been in every-thing.  My faith should be in God and trusting that all God leads me through gets me to where He wants me in this big design of life.    

If you’ve read this far you’re probably still wondering what my purpose is.  You see, it’s not much different than anyone else’s purpose.  We are given one life.  And we are to live it.  The purpose of life is to live.  It’s that simple.  HOW we live is where it gets complicated. 

We’ve accepted the idea that we work until we can afford to retire, and then we enjoy the things we’ve worked all those years to do except we’re old by then and don’t get to do what we originally set out to do.  Make sense?  At the tender age of 40, I’ve got a good 25-30 years to add to my so-called retirement fund.  Looking at said fund I’ve concluded that we deserve better than what we’re giving ourselves. 

Hubs and I both have been so busy working for a living that we’ve postponed making a life.  Working multiple jobs, with little sleep, and no family time is not a life.  Stress, health issues, growing debt, and waning faith is not a life.  Paycheck to paycheck is not a life.  Here’s the thing though, I no longer feel guilty for wanting to make more money in order to provide for my family and help others.

Whomever read and misquoted, “Money is the root of all evil” from 1 Timothy 6:10 needs to stop and re-read the Bible.  Right now, go, read it!  Or Google it like I did because my Bible has tiny print that hurts my aging eyes.  The actual verse is, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.  It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” 

As a very wise person stated, “Our attitude toward money is the problem, not the money itself.  Money is morally neutral,” like most inanimate objects.  A knife is not evil.  A gun is not evil.  A plate full of chocolate covered chocolate with chocolate on top is not evil.  It’s what we, as basic stupid humans, do with those things that can make them evil.  

And there will always be some form of payment in this world for the things we require to live.  We give back and we pay it forward.  Period.  There’s a debt we will all pay and that debt is due the day we take our last breath.  No amount of money, or good deeds, or “Likes” on Facebook will pay your way into heaven.  The only way in is by God’s grace.  Yep, grace wins it.

There’s a lot of changes happening for our family right now with work, with health, with school, with future goals that are becoming very real and within reach.  With these changes come bittersweet decisions and much needed sacrifices.  We need to be intentional with what we do in order to get what we want. 

I intend to grow my faith in God, whom makes all things possible. 

I intend to grow my finances to pay off my debt and pay it forward. 

I intend to grow my health, to be strong and capable of protecting myself and others.

I intend to teach my son 5^th grade math no matter how dumb it makes me feel.

I intend to make a life and not just a living. 

#intentionallife #onpurpose #gracewins